Afternoon Demonstration of Love In Action Update.

The afternoon protest was incredible. We had the largest turnout since the protests began. Pictures will be posted sometime tomorrow. We just want to thank everyone for having the love, and courage to come out and stand up for what they believe to be right. We thank Bruce, and Bob for traveling from across the country to come and show their support. We thank Bob P, a former client, and staff member of LIA for having the great strength to come and stand alongside everyone and show his presence. To Lance Carroll, we cannot say thankyou enough for being so incredibly strong, and caring...and to Lance's many friends who drove to Tennessee in support of their very loving friend as he told his his story to all of us. This day is not to be forgotten. So many individuals...especially those allies who may not identify as a marginalized minority of any sorts, but in their hearts knew it was right to come out and show their support. It brings great joy to us to see such incredible outreach in our city. It was also nice to hear the ever-encouraging words of support from Peterson Toscano, which came via Bob P's telephone.

We also would like to thank a particular current staff member of LIA who came forth and respectfully showed care for Lance. One might have thought more LIA staff members would've lended such words of care, and concern for an individual who spent two months inside their facilities, and then experienced traumatic times since. We are, afterall, all children of this world, and indeed deserve the respect of those we've spent such precious time around. Hopefully Lance's story will be one of hope to those who may experiece similar situations in their lives. One reporter questioned Lance about the effectiveness of these demonstrations, and in response, he recounted the hope he felt last summer when he saw, and heard those gathered outside. "It gave me ease to know that I was not alone in what I was feeling during those sessions...and maybe now I can also offer this sense of ease to others who may be where I was."

Although we cannot confirm this, we were told today that so far, there are no teenage participants attending Love In Action's Refuge program.

Lance will be flying to Washington, DC, to tell his story infront of national news outlets on Wednesday, at the National Press Club, for the launch of "Truth Wins Out", a new national organization founded by Wayne Besen, author of "Anything But Straight". The organization's goal is to help share stories from those affected by "ex-gay" organizations, and to monitor/educate the public about the strategies they are using to spread their messages.

We wish Lance the best, and thank him for a brave return to Memphis, which he described as "therapeutic."

ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY PROTEST...

People from all over the country gathered this morning at Love In Action, chanting "It's ok to be Gay", and "This is what Love In Action Looks Like" to celebrate the one year anniversary of the protests at LIA's headquarters a year ago surrounding the controversy of their treatment of teenagers. Make no mistake, this isn't "the gay community" out there...these are all sorts of indivduals, of all sorts of belief systems, orientations, and genders...parents, children, former Love In Action clients, Memphians, and people who travelled up to 14 hours to show their support.
Lance Carroll, who last summer was forced into the teen program, REFUGE, traveled from Missouri with several friends to attend the protest. Lance, now 18, returning to Memphis for the first time in a year, read the following statement to the press:

In January of 2005, I came out to my parents as being gay. After an initial positive and supporting reaction they began to change their minds…I was sent to several different counselors, the last of which worked for a fundamentalist Christian church. This “counselor” informed me that I was not Gay, in fact, he said no one was really Gay…and anyone who claimed to be gay was living a lie. This pastor recommended to my parents that I be sent to Love In Action’s REFUGE program for teens.

On June 6, 2005 I left Jackson, Missouri at five o’clock in the morning to make the long trip to Memphis, Tennessee. The first things I saw at the Love in Action campus were the protesters. I spent the entire summer between my junior and senior year of highschool in Memphis, against my will, at Refuge, where I underwent many forms of “therapy” that were supposed to turn me away from being gay. These so-called “therapies” included group activities where one person was singled out and made to be ashamed of very personal occurrences in their lives. I had to participate in this activity many times. Other “therapies” included isolation, where you wouldn’t be allowed to communicate—we were not even allowed to make eye contact, with any of the other participants; making the women wear skirts and makeup to help them become more feminine; and making the men play sports in an attempt to help them become more masculine.

These are just a couple of examples of the type of “program” they use to turn people straight. Though while I was there, it just seemed to make people more depressed and self-loathing than they already were. I, myself, went through several of these depressive periods. After enduring this time in Memphis I returned home, unchanged.

My parents were very disappointed and didn’t know what to do next, feeling that they had tried everything. My mom took it upon herself to somehow change me. This began with daily bouts of verbal abuse, her telling me how ashamed she was of me. After a few months of this, the verbal abuse escalated into small episodes of physical abuse, with her cornering me and slapping me, while telling me what an abomination I was. This type of behavior continued until I could no longer stand to live at home. One day I packed up all of my belongings into my car, and told my parents that I was moving out right that minute. My mother got so angry when I told her this that she exploded and beat me into a corner, ripping my shirt and giving me scratches and bruises in the process. My dad had to pull her off of me so that I could get to my car to leave.

Fortunately I am now living with a wonderful, and supportive family who are very empathetic toward my situation. They have taken me in, and made me their son-in-spirit. Now that I am in a much-improved situation, I feel that I need to speak-out against the things that I went through. Parents should not be able to force their children to attend any type of program like the one I went to. When a child comes out to their parents as gay, lesbian, or bisexual they need the love and support of their parents. They don’t need to be made to feel that there is something wrong with them, something that needs to be fixed.

We commend Lance for speaking up, as it is the personal concern of so many concerned citizens that Love In Action is openly preying upon vunerable youth, and their parents through tactics of manipulation including an upholding of social bias and pervasive myths. As Love In Action makes the following statement on their newly designed REFUGE website:

God has admonished us to respect our parents. God has given them to us as vessels of His choosing to bring us into His world. Whether or not our parents are worthy of respect.

As concerned individuals, we feel that it is deeply dangerous for ANY organization to support a parents wishes to change their children through so-called therapies which have been widely discredited by every major medical and mental health organization. We worry about every child that enters Love In Action’s doors, and ask the important question...where is THE Love In Action when their therapies don’t work? When the miracle doesn’t work, what are the families left with? Shame? Fear that their child will fulfill the untrue stereotypes that LIA taught them? Where does this lead? In Lance's case it lead to physical abuse, putting him in the extremely dangerous and vunerable position of having to leave home in order to feel safe...where, we ask...was the LOVE IN ACTION then? Luckily Lance had people who cared for him who he could turn to, and now is able to live happily in a safe, welcoming space. We should also note that neither John Smid, or any other counselor came to ask Lance how he was, or greet him in any manner as he stood outside their facilities for an hour and a half this morning.

More to come after the 4:00pm demonstration.

CONCERNED CITIZENS TO DEMONSTRATE TRUE LOVE IN ACTION

FOR OFFICIAL RELEASE-Sunday, June 4, 2006

Concerned citizens to hold a peaceful, loving demonstration of TRUE Love In Action, at 4780 Yale Road-Memphis, TN 38128 . Teen who was coerced into program returns a year later to speak out against it.

• MONDAY JUNE 5th 8:30-10:00am, and 4:00-5:30pm - Love In Action headquarters-4780 Yale Road Mem, TN 38128
  

As concerned citizens, we fear that Love In Action is openly preying upon vunerable youth, and their parents with the launch of their newly extended, and more agressive 3 month long REFUGE program which teaches Gay teeens that they "inherently broken, and sinful". We feel that it is deeply dangerous for ANY organization to support a parents wishes to change their children through so-called therapies which have been widely discredited by every major medical and mental health organization.

This demonstration celebrates true LOVE IN ACTION, and is taking place ONE YEAR after our initial protests at Love In Action, which began when a teenager, named Zach
wrote in his online journal that his parents were forcing him into the program. These protests eventually led to international news coverage-including CNN, New York TImes, Good Morning America, and TIME magazine.

ONE YEAR LATER, another teen that was forced into the extremist Chrisitan program last summer now returns to Memphis once again....but this time he's joining the demonstration outside the camp.

Now 18, Lance Carroll will travel to Memphis, and speak to the crowd of demonstrators, and also the press...

I am attending the protest in reaction to my own horrendous experience last summer, and as an opportunity to voice my personal opinions concerning the Love in Action Refuge program...while I was there, it just seemed to make people more depressed and self-loathing than they already were. I, myself, went through several of these depressive periods.

With our knowledge of LIA's attempt to further their attack on youth, and the one-year anniversary of our first protest at their facility nearly one year ago, the Queer Action Coalition calls the local, national, and international community to raise their voices, and open their hearts....to make a stand and continue to show what LOVE IN ACTION looks like.


LANCE CARROLL WILL TALK TO THE PRESS AT 9:45am outside Love In Action in hopes to share his story so that other teens may not have to endure the experience so many teens already have.

FOR THE RECORD(again, and again)

If Love In Action works for you. Congratulations.

We're not standing up and speaking out to try and take away your rights, or tell you how to live your life.

But there are kids inside Love In Action's walls who've been forced to be there....

Why?

Because of who they love.

That's a dangerous lesson to teach someone.

We want an end put to these messages.

Especially when a parent can force their children into a camp that is built around them.

We feel it is inhumane, and damaging to the spirits of those who aren't given the choice.

You may disagree, but disacknowledging the fact that others may have a different experience from the one you've had is simply being blind.

We know that some teens have gone through REFUGE, and had what they are currently referring to as a positive experience...Love In Action then takes their messages and posts them in the form of testimonials, and distributes them in literature...often individuals like this are paid sums of money, and offerred paying positions to speak and tell their stories. These stories are used to promote what is happening behind those walls. Those stories are used to keep Love In Action afoot-to pay the bills, and employ individuals who continue to do this work for a living. We cannot say that these stories are false...so we honor that....again...for the record...WE HONOR THAT SOME PEOPLE HAVE POSITIVE EXPERIENCES AT LOVE IN ACTION.

HOWEVER.

What about those who don't? Thousands of dollars later. Many years of time spent trying later. A summer of your precious teenage years later. A destroyed relationship with your family later. Etc....

What about these people, who are speaking out more and more. Hopefully you, as we do, would also care about their stories, and understand that these people have testimonies to write. The difference here is that we, as QAC, don't have a budget. We don't have the ability to pay people to put their stories together, and getting them to tell their stories will not keep our busniess alive. Instead, it will only allow us to feel just a few steps closer to our hope that homophobia be laid to rest, and all Lesbian, Transgendered, and Gay people be allowed to live, love, work, smile, and laugh IN PEACE...without the threat of being forced to attend a camp that teaches people otherwise.

ONCE AGAIN: If it works for you. Good.

We just simply feel that LIA should not target, and prey upon youth.

FORMER REFUGE CLIENT RETURNS TO MEMPHIS A YEAR LATER...

The summer of 2005, for those aware of the ex-gay world, the name Zach will probably never be forgotten. What most people don't know is that Zach, still a year from being 18, wasn't the only kid forced into the REFUGE program during those two months of protests, and world-wide media coverage. Another teenage boy, Lance Carroll, now 18, entered the program the same day as Zach did...and remained in the program for two months....just as zach did...

In January of 2005, I came out to my parents as being gay. After an initial positive and supporting reaction they began to change their minds. They had me see three separate counselors, the last of which was a Christian counselor in St. Louis who worked for a fundamentalist, evangelical church. He told me that I wasn’t really gay, in fact no one was “really” gay. He tried to convince me that the whole idea of homosexual orientation is a lie, and that I felt the way I did because of some sort of early emotional/psychological deficiency. This counselor recommended Love in Action to my parents.
On June 6, 2005 I left Jackson, Missouri at five o’clock in the morning to make the long trip to Memphis, Tennessee. The first things I saw at the Love in Action campus were the protesters. That morning began my summer as a participant in the Love in Action Refuge program.

So, as this Monday, June 5th marks the one year anniversary of a very different and unforgettable kind of summer in Memphis, Tn...for the most of us who stood outside and watched both Zach, and Lance walk into LIA everyday, we got to then walk away...But in a dramatically different way, this "one year later" protest brings things full circle for Lance, who will now stand outside Love In Action and demonstrate in hopes of helping those kids who may be coerced into this summers REFUGE program.

I am attending the protest in reaction to my own horrendous experience last summer, and as an opportunity to voice my personal opinions concerning the Love in Action Refuge program...while I was there, it just seemed to make people more depressed and self-loathing than they already were. I, myself, went through several of these depressive periods.

It's a beautiful, full circle situation for those who followed the protest last year, and for those who are at all concerned about the well being of these kids. To know that this time Lance returns to Memphis, he won't be silenced, forced into isolation, or told he should be ashamed for who he is. Lance is taking his experiences and making something positive out of them, as so many former LIA clients have done.

More soon.

WE CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH...IF YOU HAVE A GREAT EXPERIENCE AT LOVE IN ACTION...IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL WHOLE, AND HAPPY...THEN WE TOO...ARE HAPPY FOR YOU.

The following is a sort of dialogue...two comments left by "Anonymous", a former participant of Love In Action, and a response from a member of QAC.

ANONYMOUS(in 2 entries):

I am a graduate of the 9-month program at Love In Action. But, it's not so much about what Love In Action has done, but what God has done. It is written in God's Word that the cleansing blood of Jesus Christ cleansed and brought to righteousness "homosexual offenders" (1 Cor. 6:9-11). Why would Jesus empower this to happen, and then permit this sanction to be documented for eternity in the Bible?

The Bible commands that we confess Jesus as Lord--not our sexuality as lord--over our lives. Many Christians even have a hard time believing that God would want someone to change from homosexual behaviors and mindsets, but Christians who profess God's salvation over their lives must be willing to acknowledge the truth of Scripture; this is a commandment of the God from whom the ministry of Love In Action draws its direction.

Perhaps the Jesus of the Bible is not the same Jesus this blog refers to. Yes, my Jesus loves gay people and other people unjustly oppressed and ridiculed by society. But I thank God that my Jesus cares enough about me--and anyone who will trust Him--to give me another option.

Does the person supporting the Queer Action Coalition have such freedom? I think not. But God's redemption is available to those who are willing to receive it.

1:59 PM

Bet you didn't count on a story like that....one of truth and non-shame. Shame on you for being judgemental of people who want to and are able to change their lives to glorify and follow Jesus.

7:45 PM


QAC RESPONSE:

Dear anonymous...as always, QAC has been, and will continue to be supportive of anyone's personal decision to make these choices for their lives. How can we judge you for making such a choice...if it makes you happy, and through this you feel more whole, and fulfilled...then you may indeed be doing what is right for you, and in that-we support your personal journey. It has never been a mission/goal/stated intent of QAC to condemn such personal choices. Our concerns are for those who are coerced into such places of shame, fear, isolation, and judgement AGAINST THEIR WILL....as their experiences with such programs as Love In Action have been quite different.

We can respect you as a fellow human being, and do not feel it necessary to co-opt, or exploit our personal idea's of a higher power in order to say that we have greater freedom's, opportunities, or understandings than those who may indeed hold quite a different personal understanding of such things. It is our hope that we may, over the process of our amazingly diverse lives, continue to learn and understand things...and from this...may we grow...

We come from this standpoint...It would be wreckless for us to ignore the countless stories of those who have both volluntarily attended LIA, and those teenagers who've been coerced into the REFUGE program...We cannot ignore their experiences. Just as we respect you for your choices, and the happiness it's brought you, hopefully, if only for a moment, you may look at the pain, and suffering many people have experienced inside those walls, and the choices they've made since, which have also brought them fullness, and peace of mind.

We certainly all have choices to make, and with each word...with each action...with each beat of our hearts...there are choices involved...sometimes we make them...sometimes others make them for us...sometimes we just do not have the answers, and do not know what choice to make...so we follow the path that we feel is right for us...we make decisions...and hopefully...we learn from these decisions...about our choices...about our words...about our actions...

In your first comment, you make several very all-knowing, absolute statements which present yourself as having a complete and full understanding of something that billions of people over the passing of time have also professed to have an all-knowing, absolute understanding of, however in many different ways. We can not be certain, but we wonder, if you feel as if YOUR UNDERSTANDING is THE RIGHT ONE, infallibly. It is impossible to know, from reading a comment on a blog, what is behind the words...as i'm sure many emotions, differing understandings, and questions lie. We just aren't sure how to respond....we suppose God may have wanted us to all be understanding...and thus we understand you have your perceptions of HIS word...what can we say, but "we understand", although we may percieve differently the same words, as so many have over the years-errupting in bloody wars, so much oppression, and misguided hate..people die while the argument over who knows the TRUTH plays out, as other people who "know the truth watch the people doing the dying and the killing, and say neither of them are right....but WE are right...we, personally choose not to engage that argument of who's right or wrong at the expense of putting vunerable human beings through a living hell of judgement, shame, fear, self-hatred, or worse...

In your second comment, you wrote:

"Bet you didn't count on a story like that....one of truth and non-shame. Shame on you for being judgemental of people who want to and are able to change their lives to glorify and follow Jesus".

Fortunately we've had the great experience of speaking to so many former clients of Love In Action, as well, one of QAC's organizers has had the opportunity to sit at length with John Smid. It is rather fortunate, because we are quite aware of the love and care that is experienced there at Love In Action. We are quite aware of the good intentions, and have never tried to demonize those involved. That's just it....we too, speak stories of truth, and thus understand the heart which exists inside everyone's personal truth...

We too, come with love. We too are fulfilled, we are whole, just, kind, and aware. You see, this may just be where we differ. It is our opinion that you are us, and we are you...That your Jesus, could indeed be our Jesus...just as ours, may also be yours...It is our perception that this life we're living-that we're working towards, working for so hard-everyday...is a life worth living...and that WE ARE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE...capable of understanding...of learning from what has come before us...from what we experience day in and day out...from both what we are...and what we will become.

We stand in love, when we stand and say "we support you", and when we come out there this coming monday, please be assured, when we hold sign's that read "we support you", and "be as you are"...not only are we speaking to those teenagers inside who may be forced there against their will...but we're also speaking to the person that they'll be once they leave...just as we are speaking to you.

Hopefully, you will understand when we feel the love in our hearts for those whose experiences have been different from yours, that this is not in spite of you...but merely out of our own love ....just as real, worthy, whole, and alive...

These individuals, their experiences, and where it had led them to this moment, may not look exactly like yours...but surely "your Jesus" would not ask every human being to live by YOUR personal understanding.....perhaps your understanding is not the correct one...as I'm quite sure those of us who make up QAC have plenty to learn about our personal understandings of life...

Maybe...hopefully...eventually...if not NOW...we may learn to embrace these different understandings...as opposed to forcing others to see it our way...

Be well.